I’ve been so tired lately. I cannot say I’m stressed anymore because I know how stress feels like and this is not it. It just feels like I’ve got a whole bunch of things I need to do. As I finish one thing, two more things come up. That’s just the things I need to do. There are also things I wanna do, which right now, I am not feeling so optimistic about them ever getting done. I don’t even want to try anymore so I don’t get disappointed and more frustrated. This is not something new to people. I bet my tomato basil potato chips that most people feel this way. So, I cannot say this is my really a problem.
Here comes the real rant: whenever I do get free extra time to maybe finish something on my hydra-like to do list, I fall sleep. Not that I plan it or want to, it just happens. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, whisper ‘Aja!’, get ready to work, and pass out.
I want to go on a long vacation. Just drop everything and do things I really want to do. Things that are important and that truly matter. Then, fall asleep without worry. Not needing to make sure my alarm is set. Not having to check the time when I wake up in the middle of the night. Not feeling that I wasted my time by sleeping a complete 4 hours. Not worrying about what’s gonna happen after the vacation. I want to be able to take life one day at a time. If only life was that nice and easy. However, it’s not. I should already know and just accept this fact. I guess I should stop complaining and start working more.
But, I’m just so freakin’ tired.
I want to take time right now to say sorry to friends and family. I haven’t been able to say hi to anybody lately. No, I haven’t forgotten about anybody. In fact, that’s all I’ve been thinking about. I want to chit-chat and find out how everybody is doing. I want to tell everybody how I miss them so much. The reason I don’t say hi is that I know I cannot follow it with anything. I have time to say hi but I might not have time to keep talking. As much as I don’t want to disappoint myself, I don’t wanna disappoint my love ones more.
I’ve wrote my piece. Now back to work. Aja!
Zzzzzzzz…